Imagine a team member brings you a problem. You can already see a possible answer.
You could explain what to do, send the message yourself or take the decision off their hands. Sometimes that is exactly the help they need.
At other times, there is an opportunity to help them work through the decision and take the next step themselves.
The challenge is knowing how much to contribute. Too little support can leave someone guessing. Too much intervention can leave you owning a problem they were ready to handle.
A useful starting question is:
“What do you need from me to move this forward?”
Their answer might be information, permission, a second opinion or help working out what to do. Each calls for a different response.
Here is a practical conversation guide for managers. It draws on coaching research and the leadership principles below, but the sequence itself has not been tested as a complete intervention.
1. Check whether coaching is the right response
Before asking a series of questions, establish what is happening and what the person already knows.
If someone needs a missing fact, provide it. If they are learning an unfamiliar process, explain or demonstrate it. If there is an immediate safety concern or a decision outside their authority, give the necessary direction and follow the relevant procedures.
Coaching is useful to consider when there is room to explore options, the person has enough knowledge to contribute, and the consequences allow time for that conversation.
Try:
- “What decision are you trying to make?”
- “What have you already tried?”
- “Is there something only I can clarify or approve?”
Do not make someone guess a rule you already know. And do not turn a reasonable request for help into a test of whether they deserve support.
2. Catch your own first interpretation
The coaching conversation begins with the manager's thinking too.
“They need me to fix this” may be your first interpretation. So might “They should know this by now.” Neither tells you what the person actually needs.
This is a useful place to apply Catch–Challenge–Change:
- Catch the story you are telling yourself about the situation.
- Challenge it by checking what you know and what you are assuming.
- Change your response to fit what you learn.
For example, replace an immediate instruction with: “Talk me through where you have got to.”
You may discover a sound plan awaiting approval. You may uncover a genuine skill gap. You may learn something that changes your own answer.
The aim is to understand enough to choose your response deliberately.
3. Ask for their reasoning, then explore options
Start with the outcome they are trying to achieve.
“What would a workable result look like?”
Then ask about their view of the situation:
“What do you think is causing the problem?”
“What have you observed that supports that?”
Give them room to answer before moving to the next question. Listen for the difference between something they have seen and a conclusion they have drawn.
Consider a hypothetical example. A team member says another department “never follows through” and asks you to intervene.
You might ask which handover was missed, what was agreed and whether the other department had the information it needed. The concern may be justified. It still helps to understand the specific breakdown before choosing a response.
Once the problem is clearer, move towards possibilities:
- “What options do you see?”
- “Which would you try first, and why?”
- “What might make that difficult?”
Research offers a reason to include questions about possible solutions, with some important limits. In a randomised study of 225 students, solution-focused written questions produced greater immediate gains in confidence and perceived progress, and more proposed action steps, than problem-focused questions. It was a short written exercise, rather than a manager coaching an employee. Read Grant's 2012 study.
A later study involving 183 medical residents and PhD students found benefits for immediate mood and approach motivation, but no advantage for self-efficacy, action planning or goal attainment. Asking about solutions cannot be assumed to produce better performance. Read Solms and colleagues' 2022 study.
The practical takeaway is to explore what could help while still checking the problem, evidence and constraints. Questions about the future should not become a reason to skip information that matters now.
This builds on why the best leaders ask better questions: curiosity becomes useful when it helps you understand how someone reached their view.
4. Share your expertise openly
You do not have to hide what you know to have a useful coaching conversation.
If you see a risk, name it. If you have relevant experience, explain what happened and why it might apply. If a proposed option is outside an agreed boundary, say so clearly.
Avoid disguising your preferred answer as a question. “Don't you think you should call them?” makes it difficult to tell whether you are inviting a decision or issuing an instruction.
Try a more transparent contribution:
“One concern I have is that an email may leave the handover unclear. A short call could help you confirm who owns the next step. How does that fit with what you know?”
Then listen. Your information may strengthen their plan, or their context may expose a weakness in your suggestion.
If you need to make the decision, be equally clear: “I need us to take this approach because…” Explain the reason and identify where they still have discretion.
5. Agree what they can decide and what support is available
“You own it” leaves several practical questions unanswered.
What can the person change? What needs approval? Which resources can they use? When should they bring the issue back?
Before ending the conversation, agree:
- The next action and who will take it
- The decisions they can make themselves
- Any limits involving cost, timing, quality or commitments to others
- The support you will provide
- A review point and any reason to escalate sooner
In the handover example, the team member might arrange the conversation and agree an internal checklist. Changes to a customer commitment might still need your approval. If the other department cannot provide an owner, that could be the point to involve you.
Be specific about your part too. If they need access, information or a conversation with another manager, record what you will do.
There is some workplace evidence for supporting employees' sense of choice and ownership. In a small randomised study, employees of managers trained in autonomy support reported more autonomous motivation and engagement at a five-week assessment than employees of control-group managers. It involved one company and a short follow-up, and did not test independent problem-solving. Read Hardré and Reeve's 2009 study.
For this conversation, the practical application is to explain the purpose, listen to the person's perspective and make the available choices clear.
6. Return to the learning
At the agreed review point, ask what happened and how the person approached it.
“Which part could you handle yourself next time?”
“Where would you still want support?”
Offer specific feedback. You might recognise that they checked an assumption before acting, compared two workable options or raised a concern early enough for someone to help.
If the task stalled, look at the reason. Perhaps the next step was unclear, the authority was missing or the workload made it unrealistic. More coaching questions will not supply a resource that the person does not have.
Use what you learn to adjust the support and decision boundaries for the next situation.
Try it in your next one-to-one
Choose a manageable problem with room for the team member to make a decision.
Ask what help they need. Hear their reasoning before giving your view. Share the information they are missing. Finish with a clear next action, boundaries and support.
Then notice who leaves the conversation responsible for doing what.
That is a practical test of whether you helped the person move forward or quietly took the whole problem back.
Bring the conversation into your team
The Leadership Mindset workshop gives leaders and managers space to practise coaching conversations, examine real decisions and clarify how to build ownership. It connects the three stages of Think Better, Coach Better and Build Capability.
The Human Advantage keynote introduces the thinking behind assumptions, team culture and leadership through change.
If coaching and ownership are priorities for your managers, share your team's challenge with Andy to discuss a suitable session.
Sources
- Grant, A. M. (2012). Making Positive Change: A Randomized Study Comparing Solution-Focused vs. Problem-Focused Coaching Questions. Journal of Systemic Therapies, 31(2), 21–35. https://doi.org/10.1521/jsyt.2012.31.2.21
- Solms, L., et al. (2022). Simply effective? The differential effects of solution-focused and problem-focused coaching questions in a self-coaching writing exercise. Frontiers in Psychology, 13, 895439. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2022.895439
- Hardré, P. L., & Reeve, J. (2009). Training corporate managers to adopt a more autonomy-supportive motivating style toward employees: an intervention study. International Journal of Training and Development, 13(3), 165–184. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1468-2419.2009.00325.x
